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Dick Tricks for Mainly Pricks

Penis size anxiety. It's more a lockeroom phenomenon than a bedroom one, and it doesn't help that men's magazines have opted to make men feel as insecure and inadequate about their bodies as women's magazines have traditionally. This used to be, primarily, a gay men's issue, but so was eyebrow threading, back and ball waxing, anal bleaching, plucking, preening and pube shaving once upon a time. Straight men looked at how hot and in shape gay men were, and in return, we tricked them into feminizing themselves and gave them body dysmorphia.

The Source: Inside the Secretive World of Penile Enlargement, ProPublica

“They wanted it because they’d just gone through a bad breakup and needed an edge in the volatile dating market; because porn had warped their sense of scale; because they’d been in a car accident, or were looking to fix a curve, or were hoping for a little “soft­ware upgrade”; because they were not having a midlife crisis; because they were, “and it was cheaper than a Bugatti Veyron”; because, after five kids, their wife couldn’t feel them anymore; because they’d been molested as a child and still remembered the laughter of the adults in the room; because they couldn’t forget a passing comment their spouse made in 1975; because, despite the objections of their couples therapist, they believed it would bring them closer to their “sex ­obsessed” husband (who then had an affair that precipitated their divorce); because they’d stopped changing in locker rooms, stopped peeing in urinals, stopped having sex; be­cause who wouldn’t want it? “

Inside the Secretive World of Penile Enlargement
by Ava Kofman; special to ProPublica
June 26, 6 a.m. EDT

Summing it Up

First and foremost, for what it’s worth, you don’t “fix” a curve, you leverage it.

Guys, take note, it’s how you use it that counts, not how big it gets.

This is a painful read.

The desire for male genital enhancement can stem from various personal insecurities and societal pressures, leading some individuals to undergo risky procedures. It’s more a locker-room phenomenon than a bedroom one, and it doesn’t help that overtly homoerotic men’s magazines, such as Men’s Health, have opted to make men feel as insecure and inadequate about their bodies as women’s magazines have traditionally made women feel about theirs.

This inadequacy used to be primarily a gay men’s issue, but so were eyebrow threading, back and balls waxing, anal bleaching, plucking, tweezing, and pube shaving once upon a time. Straight men looked at how hot, desirable, and in shape gay men were, and we tricked them into obsessively feminizing themselves and gave them body dysmorphia, neatly packaged as metrosexuality.

The in-depth article navigates the story of Mick (name changed, although Dick would have been a more appropriate pseudonym), who underwent a cosmetic penile implant called the Penuma to increase the size of his penis.

Mick had always felt insecure about his genitals and believed that a larger dick would bring him satisfaction. After researching various options, he chose the Penuma, which was invented by urologist James Elist and claimed to be reversible. As reversible as a hysterectomy. After signing a telephone book thick pile of consent forms and indiscernible fine print, Mick underwent the surgery and experienced painful complications during recovery, including protruding edges of the implant and loss of sensation in his dick.

Despite potential risks and complications, the Penuma, a silicone implant for penis enlargement, appears to have gained popularity among garden variety incels, Ben Shapiro/Josh Hawley types, Andrew Tate wannabes, and emasculated men seeking solutions for their insecurities. Whining, complaining, and bitching about how aggrieved and victimized you are reeks of Little Dick Energy (LDE), and no Penuma or Himplant (the upgrade/rebrand) can transform that inherent insecurity into Big Dick Energy (BDE).  

The article also provides background information on the history of urology and Elist’s somewhat dubious career in the field.

Ava Kofman’s investigation highlights the lack of regulation and oversight in the field of male genital enhancement, emphasizing the importance of informed decision-making and caution when considering letting someone use a scalpel to play with one’s dick. Aside from the more than occasional infection, buckling in the corners and protruding through the skin, causing foul-smelling odors, even the successful implants had unforeseen consequences.

Doctors tasked with reversing these procedures for desperate men compared Penuma penile enhancements to:

“a torpedo,” “a penguin,” “a pig in a blanket,” “a beer can with a mushroom sticking out on the top” and “the tipped-­down nose of the Concorde.”

While there are some genuine reasons for men to have this surgery, and despite some success stories leaving the patients happy and fulfilled, the research suggests that treating body dysmorphia and other underlying psychological issues is probably a less painful, less risky option. At the very least, before undergoing this type of procedure.